told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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