I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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