Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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