real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
