i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize