I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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