Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
