i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize