I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
