how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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