put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
