Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Are we still banned from the library?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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