I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
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