I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
