Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
