Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
