Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
