This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
