He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All the doctor said was why
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
