erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
