so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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