what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
