Can i not drive my cunt home
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
