i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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