i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
