C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize