The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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