Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
