So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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