TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
