the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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