so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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