On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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