i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
