he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
