I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
