he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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