I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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