I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
