if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
