You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
