Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
