so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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