I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
