pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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