Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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