Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
