yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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