whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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