Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
