i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
