hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
