I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I faked an abortion last night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
