I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
