sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
