Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
