OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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