just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nutella sex= disaster
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize