Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
